Creating More Than We Consume- What happens when we shift our life away from our screens

Most of us didn't mean to invite screens, specifically our phones, into our lives the way we have. They began as a way to communicate more efficiently and stay connected to the people we love. But somewhere along the way, they became something much more.

I still remember when our family's first phone was a bulky bag phone that plugged into the car and was reserved for emergencies only. Then came the flip phone, followed by my first Blackberry with its tiny keyboard that somehow felt revolutionary. Looking back now, it's remarkable how quickly those simple communication tools became the tiny computers we carry everywhere.

They haven't just changed how we communicate. They've quietly changed how we spend our mornings, how we think, how we rest, how we spend our quiet time with the Lord, how we parent, and sometimes even how we see ourselves.

Our phones are not all bad and I want to give a fair assessment of the role they've played in our lives. They've allowed us to stay connected, learn new skills, encourage one another, and build ministries that otherwise wouldn't exist. However, I think most of us would also admit that these gifts have come with a cost.

I'm writing from the perspective of a mother because that's the only perspective I can honestly speak from. I know fathers wrestle with many of these same challenges, but today I'm simply inviting my fellow mothers into an honest conversation about something the Lord has been gently convicting in my own heart.

Like many of you, I usually reach for my phone with good intentions. Maybe it's to make sure my husband arrived at work safely, check for an important message, or read a quick devotional before the children wake up.

But thirty minutes later, I realize I've wandered from one reel to another, from Pinterest to YouTube, comparing my kitchen, my homeschooling, my appearance, my parenting, or even my spiritual life to people I've never met.

The strange thing is that it rarely begins with mindless scrolling. It often begins with something genuinely helpful. You check in on a woman who consistently encourages you in Christ. You watch one gardening video because you're trying to learn something new. But before long, another video begins playing automatically, then another, until the quiet moments you hoped to spend intentionally have slipped away.

This isn't coming from a place of judgment, really it's coming from confession, because I am right there in the struggle too. 

I've fallen into this trap more times than I'd like to admit, and this article exists because I need the reminder every bit as much as anyone reading it. The Lord has used this struggle to reveal things in my own heart, and I'm still learning what it looks like to use technology wisely rather than allowing it to quietly shape me.

Lately, I've begun asking myself a different question.

Not simply, How much time am I spending on my phone?

But rather, Am I spending more of my life creating...or consuming?

Because as mothers, God has called us to be creators in the truest sense of the word. We cultivate homes. We disciple children. We prepare meals. We tend gardens. We build relationships. We encourage weary friends. We create beauty, peace, hospitality, and memories that will outlive us.

Yet our phones quietly tempt us toward the opposite. They invite us to spend our days consuming what everyone else is creating. And I've begun to wonder what that subtle shift is costing us.

The Genuine Gifts of Social Media

Before we go any further, I think it's important to acknowledge that social media is not the enemy. Like so many things, it is simply a tool. It can be used wisely, or it can quietly begin using us.

Some of my sweetest encouragement has come through women I've never met in person. During lonely seasons of motherhood, I've found biblical encouragement from faithful women who reminded me to keep pressing on. I've learned homemaking skills, discovered recipes my family now loves, found gardening tips that saved me countless hours of trial and error, and gathered homeschooling ideas that genuinely blessed our family.

In many ways, the internet has allowed Christian women to encourage one another across thousands of miles. It has also given countless small family businesses and ministries the opportunity to reach people they never otherwise would have.

Our own family's health journey is one example. During those difficult years, I learned information that helped us ask better questions and pursue the answers we desperately needed. And Homeward Revival itself is only possible because of the internet. Many of you are reading these words because of social media, Pinterest, or a friend who shared something online.

I'm grateful for that. That's what makes this conversation more complicated.

The problem isn't that these platforms exist. The problem is how easily they begin occupying more of our hearts than we ever intended. The question isn't whether we use social media. The question is whether we're intentionally using it as a tool...or whether it's subtly shaping what we value, what we desire, and how we spend the ordinary moments God has entrusted to us.

Comparison Disguised as Inspiration

I know it usually begins with the best of intentions. You open Pinterest looking for a sourdough recipe. Twenty minutes later you're wondering why your kitchen doesn't look like someone else's.

You watch one homeschooling reel because you need encouragement. Suddenly you're questioning every curriculum choice you've ever made.

You admire another family's garden and end up feeling discouraged about your own little patch of weeds.

You watch another mother patiently discipling her children through beautifully edited clips and wonder why your own afternoon felt so messy and loud.

The difficult part is that most of these women aren't trying to make us feel inadequate. Many are simply sharing the beautiful parts of the lives God has given them with grateful hearts.

How we receive those images is our responsibility.

Our hearts have a remarkable ability to compare someone else's carefully curated pictures and videos with our ordinary Tuesday afternoon, even though we know full well that every family experiences joys and struggles we never see.

Comparison rarely produces gratitude. More often, it quietly convinces us that God's gifts to us are somehow not enough. When we spend enough time looking at what everyone else has been given, it becomes increasingly difficult to delight in what the Lord has placed directly in front of us and contentment slowly slips away.

A friend shared something recently that has stayed with me. She wrote down everything she had done the day before: making pancakes, walking the property with her husband, gathering eggs from the chicken coop, along with many other simple things.  As she looked over the list, she realized how many of those ordinary moments were things she had once prayed for and was filled with such gratitude. 

I love that. This reminded me that one of the best ways to fight comparison isn't looking away from everyone else, but rather looking more closely at the life God has already placed in our own hands.

When Motherhood Becomes Something to Perform

There is another shift I've noticed, not only in others, but in my own heart. Sometimes social media tempts us to perform our lives instead of simply living them. We begin asking questions our mothers and grandmothers probably never had to ask.

"Would this make a good picture?"

"Should I record this?"

"Would people enjoy watching this?"

None of those questions are sinful in themselves. Many beautiful memories have been preserved because someone stopped to take a photograph or video. But every now and then I have to ask myself a harder question:

Am I creating this memory...or am I documenting it so faithfully that I miss actually living it?

Truthfully, if you've ever wondered why Homeward Revival doesn't have a very large social media presence, this is one of the reasons. Since beginning this ministry, I've wrestled with how to share it in a way that feels authentic, not performative or preachy. And that doesn't require me to sacrifice the very life I'm encouraging others to build.

I don’t want to always be behind a camera trying to capture our lives, and then no longer fully present in it.

At the same time, I know there can be a healthy balance. Many of you have shared that you'd love to see more of the behind-the-scenes moments and get to know our family better. I'm praying for wisdom to know how to do that in a way that serves others without distracting me from the people the Lord has entrusted to me first.

As Christian mothers especially, we should be careful that even beautiful pursuits like homemaking, homeschooling, gardening, and hospitality never become identities we perform for validation or personal gain, rather they should be gifts we faithfully steward.

After all, these things were never meant to impress the internet, they were meant to bless the people sitting around our own tables.

The Pull of Instant Gratification

There is another temptation that quietly follows us online. Validation.

Hearts. Likes. Comments. Shares. Content gone viral. 

None of these are wrong in themselves. Encouragement is a gift. Kind words can strengthen weary hearts. But so much of biblical motherhood happens where no one is watching. I believe God was purposeful in designing our role that way. 

Biblical motherhood happens while folding laundry for the fourth time that day. It happens while answering one more question from a curious child. It happens while wiping tears, praying over sleeping children, preparing another ordinary meal, and choosing patience when no camera is rolling. These are the moments heaven notices, even when the internet never will.

The more accustomed we become to the instant affirmation that social media offers, the easier it becomes to overlook the slower, quieter rewards of faithfulness. The fruit of motherhood grows differently because it isn't measured in views or followers. It grows one bedtime prayer, one family meal, one conversation, one ordinary act of obedience at a time. Those rewards often take years to see but they are infinitely more lasting.

The Feed and the Heart

One of the greatest dangers of endless scrolling isn't necessarily what we see. It's what those images slowly teach us to desire. A larger house. The newest curriculum. A trendier wardrobe. A more organized pantry. A more beautiful garden.

None of those things are inherently wrong. Many are wonderful gifts from the Lord. But our hearts are remarkably impressionable. What we repeatedly consume often becomes what we begin longing for, and before long, contentment quietly gives way to dissatisfaction.

Scripture reminds us that godliness with contentment is great gain. Contentment doesn't mean we stop dreaming or working toward future goals. The Lord often calls us to build, cultivate, and grow. Contentment simply means refusing to believe that joy is waiting somewhere beyond the next purchase, the next renovation project, or the next season of life.

It means recognizing that while tomorrow may hold wonderful blessings, God has already filled today with gifts worth noticing, too. I've begun to realize that creating and consuming lead our hearts in opposite directions.

Creating draws our attention back to the life God has entrusted to us. Consuming constantly tempts us to look somewhere else. One cultivates gratitude and the other, if left unchecked, feeds discontent.

What Is It Costing Us?

Ask yourself this question? What is holding this phone costing me? For me, the answer was my presence. Our children notice more than we think they do. They notice when our eyes drift toward the glowing rectangle in our hands. They notice when conversations pause because of a notification. They notice when our bodies are present, but our minds are somewhere else.

I don't write that to make you feel guilty. I write it because I need the reminder too. Not long ago, my husband gently pointed out that I had picked up my phone to check a message while one of our daughters was in the middle of telling me something. I was crushed. And I've prayed ever since, "Lord, make me more aware."

There is another cost we rarely consider. Our peace.

Our minds were never designed to carry the opinions, tragedies, advertisements, arguments, breaking news, and expectations of thousands of people before breakfast. Generation after generation faithfully raised children without knowing every controversy unfolding across the world before the morning dishes were finished.

Somewhere along the way, we've confused being informed with being responsible. But information doesn't always produce wisdom. More often, it simply produces anxiety, and the more anxious we are, the harder it is to tend to the important things right in front of us. 

I think many of us have unknowingly exchanged peace for the illusion of control. We tell ourselves that if we know enough, read enough, and stay updated enough, we'll somehow be prepared. But the truth is, I have very little control over most of what fills my news feed.

What I have been entrusted with is the little corner of the world God has placed directly in front of me. My home. My marriage. My children. My village of friends. My local church. I belive faithfulness begins by tending those things well.

A Gentle Invitation

Please don't hear this article as a call to delete every social media account or throw your phone into a drawer. I actually tried stepping away for several months earlier this year. It was a much-needed season of quiet.

More than anything, it gave me the space to honestly evaluate how I had been using these tools and where I needed to grow in self-control if I was going to welcome them back into my life.

So my invitation isn't to boycott social media. It's simply an invitation to pause. To take notice and to ask yourself a few honest questions.

“When I finish scrolling, do I feel more grateful...or less?”

“Do these voices draw me closer to Christ, or simply convince me I need to become a better version of myself?”

“Am I becoming more aware of everyone else's homes than I am of my own?”

“Am I spending more time creating...or consuming?”

And perhaps the most important question of all:

“Is this helping me faithfully live the life God has given me today?”

One thing that brought me back to social media was some of the amazing Christian women who really do speak into my life, even though I’ve never met them in person. I would also encourage you to continue learning from the women who genuinely point you toward Christ.

Scripture calls older women to teach younger women, and many of us struggle to find those in-person mentors in our everyday lives. I know there are women I've followed online for years whose wisdom has deeply shaped me as a wife, mother, and homemaker.

That is one of the beautiful gifts of the internet. The goal isn't to eliminate those voices. It's simply to make sure they never become louder than the voice of the Lord.

Choosing a Better Way Forward

As I've prayed through all of this, I don't believe the Lord has asked me to abandon technology.

He's simply asked me to use it more intentionally. For me, that has meant unfollowing accounts that consistently stir up anxiety or dissatisfaction, even when everyone else seems to love and recommend them.

It has meant protecting regular rhythms where my phone stays in another room and my family receives my full attention. It has also meant making a simple shift that has changed more than I expected. Spending more time creating than consuming.

More time working in my own garden than watching garden tours. More time actually homemaking than watching someone else's homemaking hacks. More time reading books than reading comment sections. More time writing encouragement than endlessly searching for it.

I've discovered that when I spend my days cultivating the life God has already placed in front of me, my desire to constantly peek into everyone else's life begins to lose its grip. I don't know what that shift needs to look like for you.

Perhaps the Lord is inviting you to step away for a season and allow your heart and mind to become quiet again. Maybe He's asking you to stay exactly where you are but to engage with these tools more purposefully and for His glory.

Only He knows. Ask Him. He is faithful to guide us. Because this isn't about rules, or legalism, or even screen time, its about freedom. The freedom to notice God's goodness in our ordinary lives and freedom to hear His voice above every other voice competing for our attention.

Also the freedom to delight in the people He has already entrusted to our care without wondering what someone else is doing today.

Because when all is said and done, our children will not remember whether we kept up with every headline, followed every trend, or watched every viral reel.

They will remember whether we looked into their eyes when they spoke. Whether we delighted in them. Whether we stopped what we were doing long enough to really listen. Whether they felt seen. None of us will do this perfectly. I certainly won't. But by God's grace, we can become women who are increasingly intentional about the voices we welcome into our minds and homes. Women who are known more for the lives they faithfully cultivate than the content they faithfully consume.

The internet will always have another story to read. Another opinion to consider. Another beautiful home to admire. Another reel to watch. It never ends. But these years with our children do. One day the little voices calling, "Mom, come look!" will grow quiet. The toys will be put away. The shoes by the door will disappear.The kitchen table will grow a little emptier.

And I don't want to discover too late that I watched too much of someone else's life while my own was unfolding right in front of me. By God's grace, may we be women who lift our eyes from the screen often enough to recognize that the ordinary life He has given us was never something to escape. It was always the beautiful work He was calling us to create.